I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
