I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
