the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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