does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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