If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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