we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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