it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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