and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
