you didnt know i had herpes?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
