I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
