So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
