I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize