waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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