yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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