On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad