Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
