I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
