at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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