I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
