At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
