after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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