She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize