you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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