she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
