All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
