I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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