we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
