I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fuck your aforementioned shoe
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
