I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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