There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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