so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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