I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
