i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
