any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
