How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
