don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
