So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
