I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
