All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
