My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
