I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
