Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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