I can feel you judging me through the phone.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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