Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
