whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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