I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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