Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
