Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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