its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
