I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My dick has a subreddit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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