she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Best friends brother. Beat that.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
