HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
