hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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