420 ftw
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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