I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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