I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
