i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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