he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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