I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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