Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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