escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
