I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize