im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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