Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Liz is crying about burritos again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
