just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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