In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
