He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
